X-Mas

The sign on the church by my house makes me laugh hysterically.
"Merry Jesus Christmas"
Religion is just people failing to live their own lives. Yeah, you can call me a Nancy.
I'm just in the worst BAHUMBUG mood this year.
Gawsh. Sorry Guys.

Advice

Get away from me while you can.
I'm nothing worth your time.

Science of Sleep

Sleep Paralysis:

So about the beginning of last year I started experiencing these dreams where my mind is awake but my body is completely lifeless and can NOT move. Usually these dreams leave me with my eyes moving vividly with closed eyelids, demonic figures attacking me, and me trying my hardest to call for help completely distressed. This dream sequence of mine is so unbearable. It usually happens when I am sleeping on my back. My first dream like this was not as horrid as my more recent one's, I just figured that I probably was thinking weird things before I went to sleep or I ate something bad. The second dream was about a month later and I woke up in a panic and out of breath sweating. Crying and scared I was too much of a pussy to get up and go get someone so I just called my sister from my cell, whom of which was only the room across from me. I ended up sleeping in her bed that night and she told me I would not stop shaking in my sleep. After that dream I didn't have them for about 9 months, then recently last week I had two which weren't too bad but still left me stressed out. Then last night was the worst, I fell asleep upstairs on the couch and I was perfectly fine. Then I dreamt I was coming from my room going to the couch to go to sleep, which is well you know, practical. So there I was walking to the couch, and then all of a sudden the room got bigger so it was a longer distance to the couch. Once I reached the the couch I began to sit down when all of a sudden I felt a strong force pick me up from my neck while about three dark demon forces were attacking me while in the air. I could hear my parents snoring in their room so I started screaming mentally, but physically the yelling would not come out. "STOP! STOP! STOP!", was all I could repeat. I could feel my eyes moving rapidly, finally I woke up sweating, out of breath and teeth clenched. My parent's snoring when I woke up was in sync with my dream so it felt more like a reality. I didn't want to go back to sleep so I turned on the tv to watch Nick Jr. ha. Eventually I did fall back to sleep but only for about 2 1/2 hours. I woke up this morning feeling depressed and pissed off and more importantly my neck sore. I am afraid to back to sleep tonight, Wish Me Luck.

Self-Explanitory

Lovely

Ice skating at the Promenade in Santa Monica was the cutest.
:D
Shopping at the Promenade in Santa Monica was the eventful.
:D
Taking pictures at the Promenade in Santa Monica was memorable.
:D

P.S.

I think you know the truth.

Controll is Far Past Gone

This secret I have is killing me.
I wonder if what I did was right.
No one knows.
NO ONE.
I did it for you, not thinking about what I wanted.
Killing me.
When in reality it should be killing you.
If you only knew.
The favor I have done for you, because I loved you.

DID I do the right thing?

Catching Up

August:
-My best friend and I got our first jobs together, haha wow this caused some commotion but needless to say it was boisterous.
-Not a surprise, we also got laid off on the same day too.
-Then, the best night of my life, Wednesday August 8, My brother and his wife surprised me with Radiohead tickets, off we were to San Diego to go see one of the most influential bands of today play live, we had yard seats, and they were so utterly perfect. Though some unappreciative people next to us felt it was appropriate to talk while Radiohead played, I surprisingly didn't let it bother me. I was hoping they would play Wolf at the Door but they didn't of course. Walking out a man handed me the flyer to Monster Massive, then it was off to the car which was a bit of a hassle, But not as much as the 2 1/2 hour drive trying to get out of the parking lot. Then on the radio, to top it off informed us that our main freeway to get home was closed, HA! Finally by 4am I was back in Chino Hills, Thank You! (Even though I hate this city). But my brother and his wife still had to get to their house back in Hollywood, Geez Leweez. Despite all the not so great stuff, it really was the best night....so far.

September:
-Nothing exciting enough to share.

October:
-My Brother and his Wife announce they're 3 months pregnant :DDD
-The 21st, My 17th birthday :] A gift from my parents, I'M GOING TO FRANCE!!! This is too much to handle.
-The 25th, Ha birthday weekend...Now this day was the best night of my life, for four years now I had been planning on going, and that night it was actually going to happen. About twoish Brett and Tiffany had picked me up from my house, my mind was turning to mush because of all my excitement. Down the street we picked up Dylan, he got in the car and we were off. Despite looking for parking for about an hour after we got there, things started coming together. We had four hours to kill until the gate opened, there were about 15 people in front of us in line. Finally, the gate opened at 7pm, walked under that sign that said Monster Massive, and we were in, I was in. Danced the whole night nonstop with Dylan and I at each others sides, I felt like I had springs on the bottom of my feet. Omg I am a loser! hahaha. I would write a lot more on this subject, no doubt that I can go on, but there would just be too much and I wouldn't want to leave anything out, which in that case would lead and leave not only me, others into some big trouble. To end this story, there are no pictures from this night. GOOD.
-A thank you gift to my brother for, well being my big brother I guess, haha. Me and my friend Emilio, I guess you can call him Fernando, whichever you perfer, created this poster for my brothers band, Tristessa, this in all took about four hours. Pffftt...
November:
-Quit cosmo school.
-These fires are devastating. I feel absolutely horrible. No way could I imagine losing everything I have, No way would I ever want to imagine it. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost something or someone, and especially to mother earth who has once again, suffered the burns on her terrain. I do not get it, why would someone do this purposefully?

Long Time Gone

I haven't been on here since my last post because I've been so busy. It's funny because I just finished reading my last posts and I think of how ironic they are. Recently I had just quit at Salon Success Academy, cosmetology school, it was about a week ago. I was so excited and suprised I had been accepted. About four months into it, I was noticing all the bullshit that goes on around there, ex: stuck up students, perverted customers, instructors who don't stand up for themselves, and most importantly a boss who goes on myspace during work but yet she only cares about money. So by the middle of the fifth month, I dropped, "EPIC FAIL" is what you can call it. But there were some perks by being at SSA, the girls that I got to know and love there, I will miss them dearly. The two that stood out the most to me, Gabby who is so beautiful and unique I love her presence and she was there when I needed her the most; Ingrid ha oh how I love her bubbliness and smile, she never ceases to make me laugh with the sound of her own. I've grown to love and respect them both. Though my heart is still into this profession, it's just not the right time or place in my life, struggling to keep up with school work, friends and family life. Then on top of that I'm trying to find a job. I don't even drive yet, this is redicule. To get you caught up (if your interested) I'll post my little big adventures in the next blog...

More than I can handle? Maybe not.

Daily basis my ass.
Anyways, I have orientation for cosmetology school at 5:30 tonight. I'm kind of excited, is that weird? I mean it is only a meeting.
As of this past Thursday, i dont even have my phone anymore. I literally feel different without it, but hopefully I can just buy my plan back with my paycheck and keep saving money so i can acually keep my phone. I miss my friends, reguardless of being grounded (which i dont even think i am anymore), it would be hard to see them because of work, helping out with the babies, and now im going to be going to school from 3-8 every weekday. So if any of you are reading this, "I miss you!". Well i have to go get ready, i look like shit (not literally).

Once I wanted to be the Greatest

"Because the world is round it turns me on,
Because the world is round.
Because the wind is high it blows my mind, Because the wind is high.
Love is old, love is new,
Love is all, love is you.
Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry,
Because the sky is blue."
I decided I'm going to buy a camera with my paycheck. You know how they say that one moment can change a lifetime? Well maybe, just maybe I'll be able to capture that moment at least once. There are certain career choices that I've had in mind for a while:
1) Cosmetologist
2) Artist
3) Photographer
4) Fashion Designer
5) Tattoo Artist
6) Pediatrician
7) Veterinarian
They basically all have something to do with art. Except for career choices numbers 6 and 7, but that's a different story. If i accomplish just one, will be satisfying. Accomplishing two will bring me joy. Accomplishing three or more will put the happy in my ness.

I want to Climb Inside a Bubble and Float Away

Well let me just start out by saying that after reading liz's blog (http://lizalvarezz.blogspot.com/), who writes with such, how should i put it, wisdom, (haha sorry, I'm a goober) she inspired me to start my own blog. Hopefully i keep this up on a daily basis.
Lets just say that since school has been out and summer has started, i've been grounded and i miss all of my friends terribly. Its funny though, because there hasn't been one day of this summer where i haven't been busy. As of June 1st I am a proud new aunt of twins Jayda and Jordyn. They are so adorable, from the moment i saw them, i swear i fell in love all over again. Yesterday grades came in the mail, I could honestly say that I was actually happy with them for the first time in about 4 years, no less than a B-. I think my dad has had it with me though, he had no care in the world when he saw my grades, not even a smile. I guess he meant it the other day when he said he didnt want anything to do with me. We hardly talk, its more of a here and there hi/bye, whats the use? I think we just do it to keep other family members happy. We got into a huge argument the other day and he told me if I didnt want to live at home then i should just leave, and to not come back, along with "and I'm not sorry for things in the past", only a coward could say those words and not live up to his mistakes. But the thing is, I dont live in a home, I live in a house. I'm worndering if I should take that option he has given me. Now its time to go get ready for work, yeah i know, me working? Someone should get this on camera.